The big bounce: Romance on the rebound

Sometimes it's easier for our friends and family to see when we're on the rebound than it is for us to see ourselves. A recent split from someone which you have a deep emotional attachment to can make you suseptable to emotional or sexual manipulation by unsavory characters.

The succinctly named website soyouvebeendumped.com puts the dangers of rebound romance in perspective: "Many people who date on the rebound, unless you are highly conscious and are aware of the emotional dangers, pose the risk of causing hurt to yourself and to others you become involved with. If you are jumping into new relationships in a spontaneus manner shortly after a break up to feel lovable, worthy, sexy, or for some other emotional reason, and the relationships fail after a short period, your own self esteem will suffer as a result".

If like many suddenly singles, you find yourself feeling increasingly insecure as a result of a recent split from your partner, it's pretty common to find yourself attracted to a person who is completly contrasting to your ex, and is fundamentally unsuitable as a viable match.

Human beings move from moment to moment with one goal in mind: the pursuit of happiness. It may sound like an American ideal but it's actually a universal one – we're all seeking love and happiness, and after a break-up, when you're hurting, that need is magnified tenfold.

But is love on the rebound always wrong? Inez, a thirty-something Californian, who is also a recent member of one of our free dating site has this experience to share: "I just found out my boyfriend had been having an affair. I was shell-shocked. I went out with some girlfriends – Sex The City-style – and I met a very, VERY cute guy at a bar. He was quite a bit younger than me, and it really turned me on and made me feel better about myself. He was the opposite of my now ex-boyfriend – his spirit was lighter, his sense of humor stronger and more like mine. My girlfriends, of course, told me not to go out with him; that I was on the rebound. To tell the truth, I knew I was but I told my Toy Boy about everything. It didn’t lead to long-lasting love but we're still friends and I had fun and an ego boost right when I needed it. I think by being honest with my cutie, I absolved myself from any potential guilt."

Remember though, do be realistic and take the time you need to ground yourself and mend your broken heart. But in the fickle nature of feelings, Shakespeare's dictum of "to thine own self be true" is easier said than done. Our feelings are so complex and often contradictory, that it takes a lot of soul searching to sort out our feelings for a new love that has come so quickly after our ex-love. The new one, it seems, can help us bypass the pain our ex has caused us. It looks like a good deal – but is it?

Only you know the answer to that question, but there is one thing to keep in mind – this new guy or girl could be just the one you've been waiting for. Like we said, it's all about honesty – to the new one that's on the scene, and to yourself.